Car for Sale

Brittany, my roommate, and I both live in Rome, and both work in Cartersville. With soaring and ridiculous gas prices, we both decided to park Uncle Luigi (formerly known as Massimo) in the carport and only use Ginger, Brittany's 1995 Honda Civic. We decided that we'd try to leave the house by 6:55. We would take turns driving. Some weeks she would drop me off at school and then backtrack to hers; some weeks I would drop her off and take Ginger with me. Today was the first day of our carpooling. I dropped her off.

Before she got out of the car, she said, "Oh yeah, Ginger has a few quirks you should know about. I know you really like the horn since living in Africa, but the horn doesn't work, so be extra observant and be a proactive instead of a reactive driver. Also, the windows whistle because of the sunroof. If it bothers you, either open the window or open the sunroof a little.
But the motor on the sunroof makes a horrendous sound when you open or close it.

"The wiring is screwed up, so if you use the automatic lock to lock the doors, it won't work. It will unlock the doors, but it will not lock them. If you push the lock manually on the driver's side, it will lock all the doors. But if you open it on the driver's side, it will only unlock the driver's side.

"Don't worry about the CD player. It decides when it wants to work and when it doesn't depending on how hot or cold it is outside. Sometimes you have to turn the heat off to make it work. If you want the listen to the radio instead, the antenna sucks, so you only get one radio station.

"If the steering wheel locks and refuses to start, you have to turn the keyhole on the transmission thing, take it out, put your foot on the brake and turn the steering wheel while trying to crank it.

"And the driver's window, if you open it, gets off track. You have to raise it slowly while pulling it back on track. Don't think you can open the window behind the driver, though. It doesn't open at all.

"Last, but not least, never EVER leave the keys in the car or ignition. You never know when Ginger is going to lock by herself."

And to think that when I went to crank it this afternoon, it wouldn't even turn over. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. She forgot to tell me the lights didn't go off by themselves. I wonder why.

Yet, in the whole scheme of things, $16 a week for gas is a heck of a lot better than $65 every five or six days.