Cattiness

Ahem...is this thing on? Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3. OK, think we're up and running now. Let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Jay, or at least I think it is, and I am approximately two-and-a-half hands high. I'm a seventeen pound tabby with green eyes (my best feature, if I do say so myself). My mom is usually addicted to this thing, and spends more time on it than she does with me. (She actually thinks that petting me with her feet while she blogs will suffice. Whatever.)

I have a pretty normal life. Most of my days consist of me doing this and wondering things like:

• When is she going to feed me again?
• Why does she think I like it when she cradles me on my back and plants kisses all over my head? Yuck!
• What is my name, anyway? Jay? Mister? Misterhead? Bubby? Lovey? Come on, Woman! Make up your mind!
• When is she going to learn that the only thing I care about is eating, pooping, and chasing around imaginary things at midnight?
• String! STRING!!!

Then suddenly, there was a significant change in my life. And let me tell you. I wasn't very pleased.

I went to visit my grandparents, like I always do, and in walks my aunt and uncle with another pet carrier. (I know what these things are. They strike fear into the heart of every cat. They can only mean two things. 1: Long road trip or 2: The "V" word) My aunt and uncle and mom were acting all excited, like I was going to just loooooove what was in this carrier. Could they have been more wrong?

Out pounces Maximus Bartelski. Seriously. What kind of name is that? Sounds like he has little man's syndrome or something. Anyway, that guy is so full of energy that I just want to strangle his neck. He's all like, "Wanna play? Wanna? Huh? Huh? Come on, let's wrestle! Betcha can't catch me!"

No, I did not want to play. And NO, I did not want to wrestle. And, YES, I bet I could catch him! All I wanted was to sleep. Alas, it just wasn't to be. He kept pestering me and pestering me.

That kid never stopped!

I was beginning to feel paranoid because I kept feeling like someone was watching me.

Finally, I had to show him a thing or two.

When the day was through, he wasn't so bad after all. I mean, he is my cousin. I wouldn't mind seeing him again. I guess you just have to handle him with kid paws.

Over and out.