Chickens, Shakespeare and Trees

You know you're in a small town when...

1. A typical conversation at the high school you sub at goes something like this:

"Can I go to the Agriculture Building?"

"We're having class."

"But I really, REALLY need to go!"

"Too bad."

"Please! I want to buy a chicken!"

2. A student answer on a quiz looks like this:

Question: What was the name of Shakespeare's son and what happened to him? (Note: His son's name was Hamnet.)

Answer: "Meatnet. He died of an illness."

3. The front page of the local newspaper says this:

"Romans saddened at the loss of old tree..."